Five Annoying Facebook Status Updates

Baby pictures

My first sonogram
My first t-shirt
My first walk
My first potty-poo
My first go away and stop posting baby pictures



The "Hey, Cancer Awareness" Update!

You liked someone's status about having a dose of the squirts and then you are PMed by them saying you have to post the exact same status about the squirts or else having big breasts or blah blah blah. Coz of cancer.


The "I know I'm ugly" status update:

You know the ones:

"I scared away the ducks!"


"My nose is so big, it needs its own congressman!"

"I know I'm ugly when it's raining cuz when I look at a girl, she lowers her umbrella so I can't see her face!"

"Darren punched me in the heD 7 times yesterday, and told me I was a descousting lump! Can any1 help me pls? It's the first time he did it since he fractured my scull last year! I've even lost all the baby wait but he's up to his old trikcs again, courawsing nnd boosing! Send help. x"

The I'm-smarter-than-you post

Some people post what appears to be intellectual material. But any post that makes you feel inferior ought to be challenged. The result is a healthy anarchism, undermining authority via Socratic dialogue. Asking questions of any such a structural hierarchy - insisting on a burden of legitimacy from the smartass - can be undertaken via a series of replies or "smackdowns", whether those comments address the semantics of the post-er's statement, or seek more ontological clarifications.

Pets
Remember when Make-love-to-your-pets day used to be just once a year?
Now, a day isn't complete without a cat photo or two. For the effect.
Stupid cats. BARK! BARK!


Not to mention those stupid foxes too! MEEEP MEEEP!

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