A is for The A Team AZ Challenge

In 1972, a crack commando unit was sent to prison by a military court for a crime they didn't commit...

These men promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Los Angeles Underground. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Ladie's and gentlemen:

The A-Team was made up of Hannibal, Face, B.A. and Murdock.

Sgt Bosco BA Baracus was the muscle. BA's catchphrase was: "Shut the fuck up, muthafucka!"

He was into his engines and loved his van but he had a fear of flying. Sometimes, he ate burgers that were drugged and he'd go straight to sleep and the rest of the A-Team would fly him to exotic locations where he would star in a series of direct-to-video porn movies, on which the Weekend at Bernie's franchise was based.

He drank a lot of milk. There was often drugs in his milk too.

Templeton "Face Man" Peck was the looker in the group. He was a lieutenant. He opened a chain of coffee houses after he left The A Team. It was very meta when he pointed at the Cylon Centurion in the opening credits, as Dirk Benedict, the actor who played him, was also in the original Battlestar Galactica.

Howling Mad Murdock had the rank of Captain and he was the pilot of the team. He spent most of his time in a home for the bewildered, which was good coz he could "go loco" when the rest of the team were in trouble, and get them out of their bind by running out of the hospital. Then he would arrive at just the right moment. Sometimes, the rest of the team paid him visits, pretending to be doctors. They would then wheel him out of the hospital so that he could fly them to some destination, making sure to drug BA's milk on the way to the airstrip. Murdock was mad and would say stuff like: "I just pooed in ma paynts, Hannibal!"

Khaki or beigey trousers (so you could see the poo)

 And Murdock usually wore khaki or beigey pants, so you could actually see the poo!

Finally, the leader of the team was Colonel John Hannibal Smith. He was called Hannibal because most of the time, he was elephants drunk. He chomped cigars and led a life of colonel debauchery, except when he had a plan. He cross-dressed if the part called for it. He was a part time stuntman as well as a soldier of fortune.




Other members of The A Team were not really the A-Team. They included reporter Amy Allen, popstar Boy George and in the last season, special effects whizz Frankie Santana, who helped them to play dead, alongside Napoleon Solo, who had a Machiavellian business noggin atop his shoulders.

Enemies included Colonel Decker (played by Lance LeGault), Gul Dukat (the actor), Garak (ditto), and many a Hicksville sheriff who wreaked havoc and ruled his county with an iron fist, usually somewhere in Awawawa (AL).

If Hicksville sheriffs were unavailable, the boss of a favela or barrio would do the trick, in the jungles of Costa Macha - where there would be a clampdown on lesbianism going on at the time, and the A-Team would roll in with their rainbow chopper to save the day.

So all in all, I give this television series 11 out of 10!