Ragtag Giggagon

Here is Calvin, or as he's also known, Mr. ****en Squishface . Mr Squishface is an almighty ******ks. He looks all cute and fluffy, with his beautiful fur, and his wondrous brown hind legs, but if you hold out a treat for him, your hand will be returned to you with missing ****ing fingers.  Even though he's a chubby ****er, h e has the claws of a ludicrously ****ing impatient, half-starved ****ing **** of a veloci****ingraptor. Although he will strip hands of their flesh, seconds later he is still stupid enough to flop like a vibrating ****en cushion when you pick him up and turn him over in your arms, reacting like some class of dead ****bag. An ostrich burying its head in the sand, the stupid f***en purring p****.  What a genetic ****up. Here is Max.  Max is "The Human" . The spooky ****ing depth to Max's eyes indicates that - beyond question - there's a mother****er of a human under there.  Some claim that Max is in fact the reincarnation of her Ladysh...