Phone call intercepted by Piers Morgan days before the Oscars

PHONE CALL BETWEEN ALL-ROUND HOLLYWOOD LEDGE JAN THOZOMAS AND UNLISTED NUMBER, 14:24 PST, FEBRUARY 27 2014


FROM THE COMPUTER FILES OF PIERS MORGAN

JAN THOZOMAS: Hello?

WOMAN: John?

JAN THOZOMAS: Hey Adele.

WOMAN: Where you now, John? Are you with that jumbo again?

JAN THOZOMAS: No! No.

WOMAN: You leave that plane alone. You hear me? 

JAN THOZOMAS: I'm not at the airstrip, Adele.

WOMAN: Where are you now? You home?

JAN THOZOMAS: That's right.
 
WOMAN: So you can't talk? Is that right?  

JAN THOZOMAS: Ummm Hmmm.

WOMAN: You can't talk?

JAN THOZOMAS: That's right.

WOMAN: When you gonna leave your wife, John? Huh?

JAN THOZOMAS: Hold on.

WOMAN: You tell me you love me, that we'll be married a year from now. You say that every year, John.

JAN THOZOMAS: Hold on. I'm just going into the bathroom.

WOMAN: You want me call back?

JAN THOZOMAS: No. No. I'm going in here for some privacy. [SIGHS.] 

WOMAN: So I still don't like how you abused that jumbo of yours.
  
JAN THOZOMAS: I didn't do anything to the plane.

WOMAN: I know what I saw, John. And if you don't want me to go public about what I saw, and what we got goin--

JAN THOZOMAS: Baby, you know I love you.

WOMAN: Why am I the only one who knows? 

JAN THOZOMAS: Look, Adele, please - I'll give you a shoutout at the ceremony if you just keep things quiet.

WOMAN: At the Oscars?

JAN THOZOMAS: I'll mention your name, believe me. 

WOMAN: You'll do that for me?


JAN THOZOMAS: Sure. You gonna be watching? I can't ever declare my love for the bird. You, I mean. In British slang. But you know I love you on the QTeeeeeee...

WOMAN: I'll be watching that show. [PAUSE.] John?

JAN THOZOMAS: Hmmm?

WOMAN: Are your eyes closed, and are you swaying in front of the bathroom mirror?

JAN THOZOMAS: Mmmmmmm...

WOMAN: Good. I love that. I love it when you do that.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

G is for ? A to Z Blogging Challenge

Image
 I'm stuck for a G in this Blogging A-Z. So it's a bit of a rush job, this one! G IS FOR GrrrrrRANDOM!!! FOR THE MEAT EATERS: G IS FOR GOATS Where is all the goat meat? And why aren't we eating this lean protein? What's with all the beef and the lamb and the pork and not much goat going round? Shut up and pass me some of that nanny! BARK! BARK! FOR THE TECHNOLOGY G IS FOR GAMMA RADIATION I saw the bst minds of my genratn destryd by gamma radiatn. And finally, for the PHILOLOGISTS: G IS FOR GERUND: Can any philologists tell me what a gerund is? And what's a philologist? Also, and did the Bible Code actually happen? HTE END
Read more

A is for The A Team AZ Challenge

Image
In 1972, a crack commando unit was sent to prison by a military court for a crime they didn't commit... These men promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Los Angeles Underground. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Ladie's and gentlemen: The A-Team was made up of Hannibal, Face, B.A. and Murdock. Sgt Bosco BA Baracus was the muscle. BA's catchphrase was: "Shut the fuck up, muthafucka!" He was into his engines and loved his van but he had a fear of flying. Sometimes, he ate burgers that were drugged and he'd go straight to sleep and the rest of the A-Team would fly him to exotic locations where he would star in a series of direct-to-video porn movies, on which the Weekend at Bernie's franchise was based. He drank a lot of milk. There was often drugs in his milk too. Templeton "Face Man" Peck was the looker in the group. He was a lieutenant. He opened a chain of coffee houses after he left The A Team. It was very meta when he pointed at the...
Read more