Ragtag Giggagon

The Fields of Giant Berries, Mongolia The vast Fields of Giant Berries on the Mongolian Steppes are transliterated into the phrase "The Berry Fields of Confusion" in Mandarin Chinese. Why so? Because anyone who goes into the fields has a difficult time finding their way out. This is because every area of the fields looks the same as the next area. The berries are non-poisonous and are very nutritious, but they are not particularly palatable and are regarded as "non-spongiform" and "aporous" by botanists. They are said to taste not unlike a "gamey, fermented Asian elephant milk". In the above image, you see the sun reflecting off a berry. This very occasional "spark event" in the fields is the only means by which it is possible to discern in which direction you are headed. This is because The Berry Fields of Confusion are the only place on Earth where the Spectral Laws of Diffraction come into play. If you do catch a glimpse of our sun, ...

This is my apartment after two hours of cleaning. And to all of those Naysayers who claim that it looks even worse than when I started, I say: "You have to spend money to make money!"

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR: KILLING FLOUDH RAK THE EVIL WARLOCK (PART THREE) An Early Childhood by Paddy Flanagan is a mock surreal autobiography, narrated by a fictional Irish war hero, champion bodhran player, and television presenter. Its first chapter is here . It parodies misery memoirs (such as Angela’s Ashes by the late great Frank McCourt), as well as time travel adventure, pop culture, and literature of various kinds. Continued from Part 2 of Chapter 24 .                 The man pointing the rifle at Tancred was Jarlath O’Halloran, who along with running the town’s liberal pub, was actually quite a crackshot as he enjoyed going hunting, an absolute marksman so he was – coz he could hit a fox travelling at thirteen miles per hour, and that was no bigger than two yards. And Tancred knew there and then that his number was up, as he only had bows n arrows n swords. Then, quite suddenly, a bullet lodged itse...

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR: KILLING FLOUDH RAK THE EVIL WARLOCK (PART TWO) Continued from Chapter 24 Part 1 .                In the previous section, we had set out the following morning, following the river until its banks became steep, until ultimately we were walking along a clifftop high above the water. Soon, we had come across a gunfight that stretched across the river, we had added our artillery support to drive away the Englanders, and six of us had got halfway across a rope bridge to catch Floudh Rak the evil weatherlock before the bridge had collapsed.                 John Fisherman-O’Reilly fell to his knees.                 “No…” he buried his head in his hands and everyone present was sure he was about to have an episode.       ...

Chocolate manufacturer Kinder is delighted to make absolutely clear that not one of the children that appear s on the packaging of its delicious product range is - in fact - missing.  *** This guy got two of his five a day scoffed on the way home, to save time and costly cooking overhead, and plenty of calcium in a two litre container of milk! So what will you get - IN THE SHOPS? (This is a public service ad, for the shops.) What will YOU get?  *** George Michael has been bra nd ed a "driving death trap", a "fire hazard on wheels" and a "motorway pileup waiting to happen" by the British Department of Transport. However, because he wrote and recorded the acclaimed Listen Without Prejudice Vol I , he has been accorded more respect on British roads than either the rest of his opus or his skills behind the wheel should allow. If you see George Michael on the road - whether he is driving , being driven or in a pedestrianised street, simpl y walkin...

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR: KILLING FLOUDH RAK THE EVIL WARLOCK (PART ONE) Continued from Chapter 23 Part 3 .  An Early Childhood by Paddy Flanagan is a mock surreal autobiography, narrated by a fictional Irish war hero, champion bodhran player, and television presenter. Its first chapter is here . It parodies misery memoirs (such as Angela’s Ashes by the late great Frank McCourt), as well as time travel adventure, pop culture, and literature of various kinds.                 After a day of travel, in the far distance, there were dark, dark clouds, lightning and thunder for long periods – in the direction we were headed.                 And continuing downstream, we noticed the cub scout troop on an island in the stream. The whole lot of them were naked from the waist up, scurrying around the island like savages. They were whooping...

The Interten would like to commend an eroar made in the following web pages, among a few others: http://www.newsmax.com/Headline/wilson-obama-state-union/2013/02/12/id/490105 http://www.mediaite.com/tv/megyn-kelly-asks-you-lie-joe-wilson-about-obama-camp-calling-romney-a-liar/ http://www.theroot.com/buzz/did-blacks-start-trend-heckling-obama http://www.huffingtonpost.com/earl-ofari-hutchinson/obama-heckled_b_3333236.html http://www.examiner.com/article/joe-wilson-was-right-about-president-obama Spinster Joe Wilson did NOT in fact shout the words "You lie!" at Precedent Adama during his State of the Union adddrress. OkYE DokeayY? Although it was a speech about Precedent AddamMAs's intendeREd healthcare reforms to the American houses of parliament, it was NOT the State of the Union address. Thatnk you! Somebody closely connected to President Obama Clarifications: The above photograph is not the author of this post. Spinster Joe Wilson is not a spinster. He's not a senat...

Alice Eve as Carol Marcus Hmmm. I dunno. Hmmm. Star Trek Into Darkness. Hmmm. If Captain Kirk called to my house telling me he was from the twenty-third century and he had a genetically enhanced super-being that required cryogenic storage, I'd tell him there was no space in MY freezer. Also, here's a joke: Q. What order does Kirk give to the ship from the surface of the Planet Deneva in Episode 23 of TOS to the crew of the Enterprise, after he has given them the good news that he has found the cure for the Andorrian flu which the crew has contracted? A. "Beam me up Snotty!" (All jokes are available in the Star Trek Encyclopedia of Christmas Cracker & Klingon Day of Honor Jokes by Rick Berman and Michael Okuda. Just dip into them and put them on your blog. It pays for itself!) Star Trek Into Darkness is alright. But as far as sequels go, it's no Iron Man 3. It nicely echoes the original movies. Methinks it stands on its own merits, but it wouldn't be the su...

Recent news has led to a landmark decision by Justice Minister Alan Shatter to "return to a level of fairness". He has declared that the application of two penalty points will now be imposed on every driver's licence in the state. Fianna Fail leader Meeehaawwwwl Martin claims that the decision is unfair on people living in urban centres - where the likelihood of being caught speeding, for instance, is higher - and would mean further penalties. The Fianna Fail leader also claims that those who already have had penalty points imposed - which are distributed arbitrarily on the whims of members of An Garda Siochána - are being unfairly targeted in the new legislation. There are others who feel that they cannot afford to have penalty points added to their licence at all, as it will drive up other costs, such as insurance. Critics have voiced objections over the blanket imposition, with many claiming that there have been numerous new taxes already introduced in the last two ye...

Continued in Part Five ...

LATE LAST NIGHT, an innocuous convoy truck full of "peat briquettes" hissed and rasped its way along a secondary, unlit County Roscommon route. The truck is believed to have contained a shipment of cannabis resin with a street value of €50,000. It was delivered to the constituency offices of TD Luke Ming Flanagan - and the truck was being driven by the Irish politician himself. Ming showed little concern about the possibility of being stopped, smoking a number of joints and chatting amicably on his phone throughout the journey with Justice Minister Alan Shatter. Last Thursday, the delivery of a similarly sized shipment of fodder from France arrived at parliament buildings on Kildare Street. Flanagan could be seen behind the wheel in the driver's cabin as he rammed the truck into the gates of the Dail while a phone was at his ear. Gardai ran towards the lorry, insisting that the independent TD park the vehicle on the footpath rather than try to gain access to the car park ...

Continued in Part 4 .

Continued in Part Three .

CONTINUED IN PART TWO ...

CHAPTER TWENTY THREE: SUITING UP ON THE BANKS OF THE MADLIN (PART THREE) Continued from Chapter 23 Part 2 .             The four of us sprinted from the shed with what few weapons we already had in our hands, and quick as a flash, the shed exploded and we were thrown down the hill and into the river like raggedy doll children in the opening sequence of Little House on the Prairie.             “Well, holy God!” I finally managed, as my head broke out of the waters.             The four of us managed to doggy paddle back to the bank. Our weapons had landed there as we’d dropped them following the blast.             We sat, drenched and bedraggled on the bank. Ai Bang Mi Fa Ki Ni finally got up and crouched down, starting to rub two bits of wood together. Arheddis looked a...