Ragtag Giggagon

After a second examination of x-rays taken by a Filipino cruise ship entertainer masquerading as a doctor, a senior official at the Health Service Executive has sent himself a redundancy package advising that his vaginal ultrasound scans are now being reviewed, and that he will be kept informed of any change in diagnosis. Vaginal Scan The news has upset the administrator, who was privately inclined to agree with public concerns that there are too many employed at management level within the health service. Now, however, the possible misdiagnosis of a cyst on his vaginal wall more than a year ago may mean that he has to undergo treatment and remain on at the Executive in some sort of clerical capacity. A preliminary review of at least ten x-rays carried out following recent controversies over misdiagnoses has found that a lump, looking not unlike an oversized but slightly premature newborn male kitten, could in fact be malignant. The HSE official has expressed shock at the findings, giv...

Kids – Have you been smoking in the house when you’re not supposed to? The parents are coming home in twenty minutes, you have all the windows open, but the smell’s not leaving the house? And air freshener is way too obvious, it’s a dead giveaway, right? Burn some toast. Set that toaster to HIGH HIGH HIGH and get that bread SMOKin’! Here’s how toast works: You’ve got tobacco smells in your house. Burnt toast actually overpowers the smell of tobacco, and because it’s a different kind of smoky smell, your parents will just think you burnt some toast. So next time your parents go away for the weekend, don’t get caught smoking tobacco—get caught smoking bread. From the same people who brought you the excuse for the condom floating in the toilet. That's right - you were having a water balloon fight, and you don't know what the hell a condom is!

The massacre three years ago of thirteen Elvis impersonators at a log cabin resort on Lake Michigan was remembered yesterday by the sole surviving member of the Topeka KA chapter of the fan club to which they all belonged. Photo courtesy of bill_bla_ca Langston Whitty, 62, recalls the fateful day when he and his eighteen Elvis impersonator friends arrived for a vacation on Lake Michigan. There, to their horror, they encountered Canadian psychopath Maurice Loudain, who had evaded capture for many months after escaping the maximum security wing at a Montreal prison. Photo courtesy of skyhk After Loudain cut power to the satellite dish powering the log cabins, all methods of communication with the outside world were severed. Unable to contact the authorities, the King of Rock n Roll tribute acts were at the mercy of the bilingual genius. Loudain effectively picked off Elvis impersonators in the forest wilds for three days, killing thirteen and maiming three others, one of whom was lucky t...