Report: Clown vigilantism on increase in fast food restaurants

Second Dublin fast food restaurant clown assault in a week

Late last night, a group of teens taking part in a food fight at the 24-hour Finglas outlet of the McDonald's fast food chain was assaulted by a clown who emerged from an "Employees Only" room in the restaurant.


A Photofit of the Assailant


Shrieking and hissing at the youths, the clown incapacitated three of the teenagers with kicks and punches - seeming to flail wildly, but in fact showing incredible accuracy in his contact - before he pinned down a fourth young man, beating him in the head continuously with a Big Mac sandwich until the youth feigned a comatose state.

The clown's assault was over in a matter of minutes. He disappeared before the arrival of the emergency services.

It's the second time in a week that the clown has prevented what could be termed "rough play" in a Dublin fast food restaurant. An outlet in Stillorgan was the scene of a similar clown attack that broke up a drunken scuffle during the breakfast shift.

Those assaulted by the clown were unsure how badly they had been harmed, as their clown attacker used a liberal amount of ketchup in his assault - going to great lengths to open a large number of sachets of the condiment while he gloatingly held down his two victims. An eyewitness declared that the clown "seemed to relish it."

Although police are following a definite line of inquiry, whether the clown will strike again before he is apprehended remains unknown.

Comments

  1. i know that dude! his name is Ronald! he feigns to help kids with different houses which are really safe houses where he can go when hes been bad again and let his horrible temper sandwich him and catsup for fake blood to appeal to his visual sense of terror!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ronald, no less? The SOB! Thanks for the tip - I will forward your witness statement, catsup included, to the Gardaí!

      Delete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

G is for ? A to Z Blogging Challenge

Lynn Lamb - Dissonance of the Dead - Author Interview