Ragtag Giggagon

“An Early Childhood by Paddy Flanagan” is a mock, surreal autobiography by a fictitious Irish television and radio personality. It parodies misery memoirs (such as Angela’s Ashes by the late great Frank McCourt) and cannibalises from various sources.   Please check out the first part of the first chapter here . The second part of Chapter 1 is here .   T he first part of Chapter 2 is here . The second part of Chapter 2 is here. The first part of Chapter Three is here . The continuation of Chapter Three is below. CHAPTER THREE: MY MOTHER AND MY FATHER, A GENERAL ROUND-UP OF BEFORE THEY DID DIE (PART TWO )                 This next account will prove to you, if not already proven with incidental anecdotes, the fierceness of Father’s temper. Cousin Barney had been serving in a tedious war in South Africa, only at this stage, when I was about five, he had done so well for himself in the army that he had been promoted to Colonel Cousin Barney. Thus, through much saving, and investme

GREAT DEALS FROM CROUTONS Photo courtesy www.zakcollins.com You've seen the ads on the tv. Right? Right? Now share in the joy and get a superb half price discount on our two-hour baby bucket deal. The bucket is filled with liquid muscle relaxants to keep your little cherub calm while you go off shopping! Simply drop your child off at any one of our three countryside retreats, and head back into the city for your shopping or meeting of the friends! Remember, you can use this voucher on any Tuesday you like - in any two hour time period between midday and three pm! Photo courtesy Wyda Read . Do you like looking at beautiful women? Do you like beautiful women looking at you? What about beautiful women not looking at you? If you like the idea of a beautiful woman not looking at you for half an hour, then avail of this amazing offer to have a beautiful woman not look at you for just half an hour! With an amazing 52% discount for the half hour, you can even avail of a 62% reduction for a

“An Early Childhood by Paddy Flanagan” is a mock, surreal autobiography by a fictitious Irish television and radio personality. It parodies misery memoirs (such as Angela’s Ashes by the late great Frank McCourt) and cannibalises from various sources.   Please check out the first part of the first chapter here . The second part of Chapter 1 is here .   T he first part of Chapter 2 is here . The second part of Chapter 2 is here. CHAPTER THREE: MY MOTHER AND MY FATHER, A GENERAL ROUND-UP OF BEFORE THEY DID DIE (PART ONE)                 Mother, apart from the stealery in the orphanage-cum-convent, could more often than not be regardered as the most decent and honourable woman this side of the River Shandy, as well as the other side. And she was seen as such, even in fierce times when people would call to the house and they’d see the holy chalice from Chapel No. 5 sitting on the mantelpiece. People wouldn’t believe her when she told them she had stolen it from the orphanage. Despite

Abuse against Chik Fil-A - also known as "Capuchin Chicken" in regions as far afield as Europe - seems to continue unabated: A sickening level of hatred is prevalent among the general populace worldwide. However, despite the reaction to expressing opinion in the United States, nothing quite as bad as the latest revelation was believed possible until yesterday. A number of UK newspapers have gone to press - having had fair comment and opinion imposed on them due to recent inquiries - with the story of a Chik Fil-A or "Capuchin" monk, caged by the Protestant Trevellyan family from Leeds in the UK at their home, for almost two decades. The monk was permitted out of his cage for no more than an hour each day. Disgustingly, the priest was reportedly fed on a diet of nuts, fruit, insects, seeds - and as a "special treat" now and then, according to the sadistic family - an egg. Rendering of what the Trevellyan's monk may have possibly looked like, were he cap

“An Early Childhood by Paddy Flanagan” is a mock, surreal autobiography by a fictitious Irish television and radio personality. It parodies misery memoirs (such as Angela’s Ashes by the late great Frank McCourt) and cannibalises and plagiarises from various sources. Please check out the first part of the first chapter here . The second part of chapter one is here . The first part of Chapter 2 (this chapter) is here . See the second part below.     CHAPTER TWO: GARAGE DAYS REVISITED (PART TWO)                 The second time Bully-Boy Breathanach pulled a stunt on me, I was still unaware of his evil intent, and I gave him the benefit of the doubt. He told me that Mister Veracci wanted me to go out and pull the legs off the guard dog. Now, the guard dog was more of a blackguard dog in all honesty, and, unlike the Homosexual Lion, his predilections for human flesh weren’t confined only to penguins. Or the penguins that migrated from Antarctica for that matther. He had huge,

“An Early Childhood by Paddy Flanagan” is a mock, surreal autobiography by a fictitious Irish television and radio personality. It parodies misery memoirs (such as Angela’s Ashes by the late great Frank McCourt) and cannibalises and plagiarises from various sources. (People call that "pastiche" when it's on The Simpsons.) Please check out the first part of the first chapter here . A later chapter (Chapter 7) is found in a previous post here . I will post more of this work, and I would love to hear opinions and feedback. Thanks. CHAPTER TWO: GARAGE DAYS REVISITED (PART ONE)                 I remember the first day at the factory like it was when I was four years old, and I was four years of age at the time, believe it or no. Father couldn’t afford a razor all the time, and when his blade went blunt or Mother had sold it, he often used one of the nippers to shave. We always tried to forget those days, and you could often tell his blade was gone by the ominous